I’ve always loved Sundays. A lie in, tea in bed, a roll around with my beloved, a tasty brunch, maybe a walk, a fire on a cold day and a lovely meal. Fantastic 🙂.

I still love Sundays but today as I sit here with my coffee after brunch, I am alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love being alone and will write a post about it, but today as I sit here, the tears roll down my face. Perhaps it’s the Beethoven CD or the peri-menopausal hormones but whatever the reason, today I have an overwhelming sense of loss: Loss of my marriage, the loss of my lover’s company whom I saw on Friday and won’t see again till later this week. My estranged husband is no doubt in his house, my lover at home in the bosom of his family and I sit here sad and alone.

I have so much to be thankful for and I am thankful. I have my health, I am loved, I have a beautiful home and a belly full of food, a job I love and opportunities to expand my horizons.

I know it’ll pass, but for now this blanket of loss smothers me until the tears flow freely. So I dwell on these sensations in the hope that they will propel me forward. I know once the tears have flooded my face that I will feel better able to get on with the day. But for now I must let them fall.

Love & light

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